Man! It is the middle of March already. I am so far behind on plans for the year that I get nervous thinking about it sometimes. I have to take a few deep breathes and regroup. Life seems to move too quickly anymore. As soon as I try to celebrate something, I see twelve other things that needed done yesterday.

I am still cameraless as I enter into the race season. That is making it a bit stressful for me and my boss. I get defeated when I start thinking about how this winter’s work plans fell through. Then I start getting concerned about letting my photography partners down and it begins to cascade. I have really been fighting depression this winter. Everything seems like it is piling on. The crazy thing is that it isn’t that life-altering or overwhelming in the grand scheme of things. It is just the sheer volume of it all.

On top of my own personal issues, two of my very close friends are having to deal with serious health issues with their parents. One of them has a mother that is going through the final stages of emphysema. My other friend’s father is undergoing chemotherapy and radiation treatments after having the upper lobe of his lung removed. All of it brings back painful memories. I feel selfish when I want to run and hide from it all. I realize that I am going through nothing compared to the issues that they are dealing with right now. My issues with medical issues are in the past. Even my mother’s knee replacement is minor by comparison. Dad’s massive pulmonary embolism seems even small in comparison. Perhaps I should take a moment to explain that statement.

Dad entered the bedroom at around 7:00 and fell to the floor, speechless and unmoving. Mom called for me and her immediate thought of course was to get him to the deck so the EMTs wouldn’t come into the house. (Those who know mom will understand) She has effected my niece. Andrea was concerned that he had messed up the lamp shade and knocked the bed stand over when he fell. By the time dad was at the hospital is was breathing normally and when the specialist came to check on him in ICU around 12, he was sitting up and eating lunch. The doctor remarked that he shouldn’t be doing that. Dad said that the nurses said it was okay for him to eat. The doctor said, “No you shouldn’t be sitting up. Most people wouldn’t even be here.” They scanned dad in several different ways and couldn’t ever find where the clot had broke loose from in his leg. They couldn’t find any other clots either. He was on warfarin for a while but has been weaned off of it.

In light of how quickly he recovered, it is difficult to see these two go through such serious, long-lasting medical issues with their parents. I know the difficulties they are going through personally and it makes it seem unfair in a way that da is doing so well.

So every time I start stressing over things, I try to remember two things. Take deep breathes and enjoy everyone of them. They are precious.

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